Commandment #1 There

Thou, shall not take-th the big favorites.
The big favorites will win like champs day after day, week after week, till finally you jump on one. That big favorite will always lose…hideously

Thou shall not wagerith on Kansas City-ith
The Kansas Royals will only win when you bet against them.

Thou shall not trust-ith the Empire-ith
You will lose many a base runner because the ball beat him to the bag, even though the foot beat the tag and he was clearly safe. The announcer will say "When the ball beats you to the bag your out." I say, "How bout when you're out you're out."

Thou shall suffer unmercifully
No lead is safe when you are winning early, but a one run lead is insurmountable when you are behind.

Thou shall Beware-th the Atlanta Braves.
The Atlanta Braves will always go to sleep like Rip Van Winkle when you bet on them, and explode like megaton bombs when you go against.

Thou shall get fuck-ethed by many a bad call-ith.
Instant Replay will irrefutably prove that your man was safe at the plate. His foot was in there and the Catcher missed the tag. Everybody sees this except the visually challenged Ump, who will unfortunately call him out anyway. You will lose this game by one run, and your manager will get thrown out for arguing.

Thou shall get screwed over by bad managing
You will lose many a wager in the eighth, while the manager is "saving" his closer for the ninth.

Commandment de BIG UNIT
Although he is clearly the baddest mother in the league, you cannot safely bet on Randy Johnson. The number is always too high and the D-Backs just can't score runs. Steer clear of RJ, unless you are fond of laying -270 and losing 2-1.

Thou shall bewareth Kile
Watch out for Daryl Kile. Yes, he's a tremendous pitcher, but he gets bombed, pounded and rocked every time he pitches at Coors field. (Rest in Peace Daryl, You were the real deal.)

Thou shall be snakebitith
Any Pitcher taking a no hitter into the seventh inning of a scoreless tie, will always lose the game eventually, if you have wagered on his team.

Thou shall Eat Your Heart Out
In any one run game, where there was a runner at first with one out, and that runner is caught stealing, or picked off; making it two outs and bases empty… The next two batters will always get hits, and you can be secure in the knowledge that you will not tie the game, and that you got three hits in one inning and did not score.

Thou shall be humiliated regularly.
The Tampa Bay Devil Rats and the Montreal No-Shows will beat you several times this year, even though neither team has any players.

The Yankee Commandment
The Yankees will always win when the number is completely out of whack, untouchable and ridiculous. Anytime you can get the Yankees at a reasonable price, they will go down in flames like the Hindenburg.

I think we should have a special commandment
for the people who had the Houston Astros one Saturday back in July. They took an 8-2 lead into the bottom of the ninth and there were two outs and nobody on. And the mighty Pirates scored 7 runs while you watched in horror, and you lost. You people need to stop gambling immediately. Thou shall not gamble anymore because thou are cursed.

An Finally, Thou shall be burnt to a crisp-ith, and stuck with a fork-eth, hung out to dry-ith, and tar and feathered-ith.
Translation? Of course you will lose another 1-0 game again this year. Just for good measure, you will lose another on a pinch-hit, two out, two run homer, in the bottom of the ninth, by a hitter who is currently batting 189. That's the way the ball bounces. Some days you win. Some days you lose. Some days it rains. That's baseball and I love it still.